#also please say please when requesting

[avocado-writing]

Today is my birthday, so I was wondering what would each party member from BG3 do for your birthday?Maybe a little nsfw afterwards?😏

Astarion

probably takes you out shopping! do not ask where he got the money to do this from, you don't want to know the answer. it probably wasn't earned honestly. but he's still happy to drop a small fortune on you, dressing you up in lots of lovely clothes and jewellery, taking you for lunch at the nicest place in Baldur's Gate. he doesn't eat of course, but you can tell how pleased he is just watching you enjoy little sandwiches and delicious slices of cake. he spears jam and sponge on the fork and feeds it to you sensually, eyes flashing with delight as he sees the way you lick your lips for him.

he cannot even wait to get you back to somewhere private. you abscond behind the cafe and he has you up against the wall. the stonework digs into your back delightfully as your legs wrap around his waist, he fucks into you so enthusiastically that he has to smother your moans with his hand so that you don't get caught. he whispers dirty things into your ear the whole time. but the day finishes with you watching the sunset together. he loves how you look, bathed in orange light. you'd love for this day to last a lifetime.

Gale

plans a very elaborate birthday meal which he invites all of your friends to. he is prepping for days in advance, finding out all of your favourite dishes and working on perfecting each one of them (tara keeps you distracted so that you don't catch on...) on the day, he buys you a lot of books for presents, ones he heard you mention wanting to read ages ago and kept in his mind for a special occasion. you feel thoroughly spoiled by all of the effort that he's put in, the the birthday cake he baked you is the most delicious thing you've ever tasted.

that night, when the guests have finally left, he probably has something a bit kinky planned, maybe something you've wanted to explore with him for a while. perhaps it's a... creative use of evard's black tentacles, or a magic double of himself to join in the fun, one thing you can be sure of is that you're exhausted and very pleased by the end of the evening.

Wyll

if he's duke he plans a big celebration for you. dancing, feasting, musicians, all of your favourite things dialed up to 11, no expense spared. has a special outfit tailor-made for you in your favourite colour. you spend the whole evening with your favourite people and are constantly dancing with your beloved husband. he can't keep his hands off you, and as the two of you waltz, he keeps whispering sweet nothings into your ear... how lovely you look, how radiant you are, how he can't wait to get you alone later tonight... by the time the event winds down you're a total mess with the promise of him.

and he does not disappoint. he beds you in the most sensual way possible, ekeing out your pleasure for as long as he can. paying extra attention to you with his mouth and fingers, encouraging you to grab onto his horns in order to direct him where you want him. the whole time he praises everything about you, says how lucky he is, how he can't get enough of you. you have more orgasms that night than you've ever had before.

Karlach

if you're in hell, she does her best. maybe enlists your friends to help her organise something, getting you a load of presents. she knows she can't hold you some big party like you deserve. or maybe withers comes in clutch again! he and karlach plan a little get-together with your friends for you so that you can be surrounded with people you love. alternatively, if you're still in Baldur's Gate, she just makes a big list of all your favourite things and goes through them. probably would take you to a circus. to a fancy restaurant for dinner. maybe a picnic by the river, just the two of you watching the ducks? whatever she chooses it is perfect.

now, let's be real. she straps you down if you're into it. gets the biggest, most interesting dildo you've ever seen and milks orgasms out of you all night. you're a mewling, sweating mess by the time she's done with you. and gods, if you use it on her afterwards? (if you already have a dick, filling both her holes??) oh, she agrees it's the best birthday ever and it's not even hers.

Lae'zel

probably has to take her time planning, and swallowing her pride to ask the other companions what is best to do. githyanki don't really do birthdays. she has to go to great pains working out what you might like. in the end it's probably something like she sets up a little dinner for the two of you in a secluded spot looking over the city, where the two of you can be alone and unbothered by everyone harassing you. taking the weight of responsbility off of your shoulders for a brief time. she buys you a weapon, probably, a really good one, masterwork - something she had commissioned and was refining herself. it's the most thoughtful thing she's ever given anyone.

at night she takes you somewhere you can be alone. books out a room for the both of you at the inn, so you can make as much noise as you want. and you do. she plays your body like an instrument, and you come over and over again under her hands. she's smug afterwards, your pleasure begetting her own.

Shadowheart

she's probably not great at birthdays, as she wasn't encouraged to really celebrate them much as she grew up under Shar. she gently coaxes out of you what you might want to do to celebrate for months in advance and plans around that. maybe you go on a little wine-tasting course. or perhaps Baldur's Gate has a cat cafe, and the two of you spend the whole day there, just snuggling with kittens. perhaps you both get attached to one and decide to adopt it, too... what harm can more pets around do? she's constantly giving you little kisses and telling you she loves you, her cheeks pink and words sincere.

that night she's bought herself a set of lingerie in your favourite colour for you to enjoy, taking off each lacy item in a tease for you... or maybe leaving them on as you make love. she's got a couple of new toys to tease you with too, something magical perhaps, which really spices up the evening. you fall asleep in each other's arms either way, blissed out and happy.

taglist: @ghosti02art@sadandanxiouswtf @yeethaw13@trappedinlimbo15 @infinitely-kate @dhampling@wereallbrokenangels @tilldeathdonugget @hopeful-n-sad

[amanitacurses]

Part 1

[gotchibam]

I've been doing some test streams this past few weeks and I think I want to try it for real this time! Nothing fancy, just a simple art stream & some lo-fi music 🎶

I might be able to host one later (maybe a couple hrs from now?) so just look out for the post if you want to join! Also made a twitch & youtube channel for hosting & archiving future art streams so you can also follow me there if you'd like to get updated 😌

[skitskatdacat63]

Hello guys!!!!! Aforementioned project is finally finished 🫠 It was meant to be just a simple weekend project, and ended up being 30+ hours over the period of like four days. I don't think I'm an actual normal human anymore. This is the project that caused everyone in my life to question my mental and physical wellbeing and health. But I'm super excited to share this all of you!!!! Please enjoy!!!! Even if you don't like vettonso, I hope this is still interesting????

If you make any, please reblog this or tag me in it! I'm excited to see what other people, other than just me suffering alone in my bedroom, make out of this!!! <3

[luckycharms1701]

Lucky I write down potential asks in my notes and literally just scribbled this today so the fact hur open now is a wild coincidence and also ily /p have a great night !!! Drink fluids !!

The set up premise might be.. different? so ignore if inspiration doesn't tickle ur scrote but I am a person who eats spicy food on a daily basis and if it's painful enough it can look like a damn sexual experience(panting, sweating, flushed face, gr/moaning(in pain), whines, milk spills, the works). I can see bay Mikey doing some kind of prank or dare without knowing what would stir within until suddenly ur being dragged off to his bedroom trading one heat for another-

I'd hoped this was just about blurbish length and that I make sense ;-; (I am so nervous about sending request asks in I am ill)

(-gornack but anon cuz if i sound nonsensical I don't want the embarrassment of having my account attached)

^ how i felt reading this ask

there is nothing to be embarrassed about here!!

sorry for the fade to black but hope you enjoy anyway!

It takes exactly three wings for you to realize that you’ve made a mistake. You pause when the heat hits your tongue, and that is another mistake. You swallow without tasting anything and look at Mikey’s expectant face with a shaky smile. “No problem!” You give him a thumbs up, hoping he’ll ignore the increasing redness you can feel in your face.

When Mikey came to you, begging to recreate those videos he was obsessed with where people eat progressively spicier food, you knew this would happen. You knew. But one look into those tearful puppy dog eyes and you folded faster than wet cardboard. Now you (and your relatively low spice tolerance) find yourself wishing that you weren’t head over heels for him.

“Yes!” Mikey cheers with his hands in the air, and all the pain you are about to endure is immediately worth it. Damn him. You look back down at the remainder of the wing in your hand and both dread and determination run through your veins. Well, mama didn’t raise no quitter. You bring the little bomb to your mouth and eat the rest of it, trying and failing to keep the sauce off your lips. Shit.

You nibble on some bread to help with the heat, saving the milk for later when you’re truly suffering. Your fingers tap along to the beat of the music Mikey put on as you look for the next spicy little enemy. Instead of offering you the next saucy wing, Mikey is staring. At your lips, specifically. You touch them hesitantly. They feel a little inflamed but dry. “Did I miss some sauce or something?” Mikey shakes his head with an unusually (even for him) loud “No! You’re fine.” You shrug and reach for the wing he offers you.

Sweat forms on your brow before the heat hits, and you brace yourself just in time. A breathy “oh” leaves your parted lips as the heat rolls through your mouth like thunder. You give in and reach for the milk as the heat crests, gulping a little too quickly and spilling some. When the teasing you expect from your best friend doesn’t manifest, you try to contain your panting and look up to find him once again staring at your mouth. “Okay, I know what’s up with me, but what’s up with you?” You reach up and swipe at the line of milk dribbling down your chin with your thumb, and Mikey visibly swallows.

“N-nothing, angel. Just wondering if you’re still up for this. You look… heated.” You groan loudly at what you assume is a very bad pun, holding out your hand for the next torture device. The heat in your mouth is now at an alarmingly high steady burn, but you are trying to ignore that in favor of getting through this ordeal.

“Hit me, Michelangelo.” He mutters something under his breath that you can’t hear over the music, and you study him as he hands you the next wing. He is twitchy, eyes dark as he watches your fingers wrap around the meat. Wondering why Mikey is acting so weird is a good distraction from the pain in your mouth, so you continue to observe him as you raise the fifth wing to your mouth.

It seems almost like Mikey is the one on the spot, you muse as you chew, with the way he can’t sit still. He’s looking everywhere except at you now, fingers tapping agitatedly on the can of Orange Crush in between his hands on the table. Then the heat hits you like a brick wall, and there is no room in your head for anything except the stinging pain. Tears fill your eyes as you whimper.

Mikey’s chair scraping across the floor startles you as you chug some milk, and you spill some again. Your whimper turns into a groan as more milk dribbles down your chin. How embarrassing. The milk pools in your hand as you try in vain to keep it from getting everywhere.

“Okay, that’s it!”

Before you can process what’s happening beyond the fire raging in your mouth, Mikey rounds the table and picks you up. You stutter his name, hands flailing, beyond bewildered. He ignores you and beelines for his room, squeezing you firmly against his plastron.The door closes with an ominous snick, and you brace yourself, still panting from the heat of the wings. The tension leaves you though, as Mikey tosses you on the bed and shows you exactly why he was acting so weird. Oh. Ohhhhh. OH.

~~~

head bonks: @yorshie @avery73 @justalotoffanfiction @thejudiciousneurotic @writinandcrying @xnorthstar3x @morenovix218 @donniesgirlie @gornackeaterofworlds

[punctuation-completionist]

pinning this post but

if i mess up the count somehow. like if i count and i miss something? i will try to correct it but it is probably bound to happen

like very sorry to say it but i am a human person who makes mistakes :] feel free to tell me also if i missed something and i'll fix it!

AND ALSO!!

DON'T BE MEAN TO ANYONE ! especially not people who make art that i rb here!

ALSO ALSO!

sorry i keep adding stuff to the pinned post but, if you either want me to take something down or want me to trigger tag something, just send me an ask about it! if you want something taken off of here, just tell me which post you want taken down and also try to be clear and don't just be rude, please!

link to the redbubble:

[journey-to-the-attic]

3rd anni req 24: luke / outing

ao3 link

note: okay, so the original request did refer to a restaurant, but i was having trouble figuring out what to write for that setting, so i ended up swapping it - but the scenario still works as a silly little date as specified, so hopefully that's okay!

∎ ∎ ∎ ∎ ∎

“I still don’t get what we’re doing here.”

“You’ll understand as soon as you get in.”

“Are you sure you can’t come with me?”

“So many questions. Yes, I’m sure.” Lucifer sighs. “You’ll have company once you get inside. Call me once you’re finished.”

“...fine.” I huff, allowing him to push me through the door.

A bell rings, and Lucifer nods at me one final time before disappearing back out onto the street. I don’t even know where this is, but this looks like a reception, so I shuffle hesitantly to the demon at the front desk.

She looks up from a notepad as I approach, and offers a friendly smile. “Can I help you?”

My mind blanks. I think Lucifer told me what to say, but—

“IK!”

“Luke?”

“You took ages! I was getting worried.” He turns to the receptionist with a polite cough. “Oh, um, this is the friend I was talking about.”

“I see,” She says with the same smile as before, then indicates a door to her left. “Well, go ahead. Enjoy yourselves.”

“Thank you! IK, come on.”

“What’s going on?” I ask, bewildered, as we step into a finely carpeted hallway. “Is there a party or something?”

“It’s afternoon tea,” He says patiently - as if he’s reminding me of something I already know. “Did you forget?”

“I didn’t know there was anything to forget.”

“Lucifer didn’t tell you?”

“No?”

He stops walking. I do the same. We stare at each other for a moment.

Clearly something’s been lost in communication here. Was Lucifer meant to tell me? He certainly wasn’t acting like he intended to. He’s got to have set this up, right? It’s definitely not a coincidence that Asmo had a new tie for me this morning, either. Maybe everyone’s in on it…

“...well, never mind,” I say after a moment - Luke is beginning to look panicked. “Did you say afternoon tea?”

“Barbatos recommended it. I thought…” He trails off for a moment. “...well, I wanted to try the sweets. And I felt bad about the thing in Enchantments.”

I’d forgotten about that as soon as we left the classroom, to be honest. (I’m not one hundred percent sure I didn’t break something, but Simeon was so quick on the ball with his healing that I couldn’t tell.)

“I did tell you it was fine,” I say, indicating for him to start moving again. “But this is nice. You didn’t invite Simeon?”

“Oh, um… no.” He looks a little embarrassed. “He said he was busy.”

He indicates a door and ushers me into a dainty little parlour room. It’s opulent in a subtle sort of way; the decor is quaint, but it’s clear that whoever owns the place isn’t skimping on costs to keep the charm of the aesthetic up. I recognise those special ambient candles - Asmo uses them for photoshoots, and they definitely don’t come cheap.

One of the chairs is already pulled out, but despite the vast spread of sweets across the table, Luke clearly hasn’t touched anything yet. He shows me the catalogue of teas on offer - the names are so flowery that they all kind of melt together into an indistinguishable haze. Eventually I spot one that I recognise from Barbatos’s own collection, and quickly latch onto it.

“You’re really good at this,” Luke says happily as I pour him a cup. “Oh, wait!”

He leaps up, rounds the table, and quickly pulls out my chair for me with a little bow. “There. Like a gentleman does it.”

“Thanks,” I say with a laugh. “Did Barbatos teach you that?”

Luke returns to his seat, a little pink-cheeked. “Raphael, actually. Okay! Let’s try some of these cakes!”

The menu is extensive: a vast array of confections, iced in a colour wheel of hues, topped with everything from spun sugar to dried fruit to little edible figurines. There are some I recognise - Battenberg, castella, chiffon, babka - and even more that I don’t.

Most of them are rendered in miniature form, so that as many can be sampled as possible, with the exception of the house special. This one is a pure Devildom creation, though it looks to me a lot like a Swiss roll with an especially large, almost dizzying swirl. It feels like I’ll fall into it if I stare too long…

“Look at the rise on that,” Luke says in awe, holding up one of the ones I don’t recognise. “They’re so teeny, but they look absolutely perfect. Mm! It’s not sour at all, either! Mine always come out too tart.”

“Hey, I know this one.” I pick out a little rectangular one with layers of puff pastry. “This guy’s French. I think it’s called mille-feuille.”

“Mille-feuille,” Luke repeats, then giggles. “That’s fun, isn’t it? Mille-feuille.”

“A lot of these are French, actually,” I ponder, pointing at several in quick succession. “Eclairs, macarons, and… well, we call those French fancies, but I don’t think they actually are. You call all these petits fours.”

“Petits fours,” He copies, then draws out the vowels a bit more. “Petits fours.”

“Petits fours,” I agree.

“Petits fours...”

We pass the words back and forth, making it a little more French each time, until the consonants completely disappear and we’re practically just cawing at each other, and finally reduce ourselves to laughter.

“You’re good!” I manage once we’ve calmed down enough. “Your French is really good!”

“Is it?” He takes a few deep breaths and grins helplessly across the table. “I was just copying you.”

“You do it better than I do, I reckon. Whew…” I compose myself with a sip of tea. “And you don’t even have France in the Celestial Realm. Actually, the Devildom doesn’t, either, so what’re all these French sweets doing here?”

“Maybe they’re just that good! Actually, even in the Celestial Realm, human-world sweets are even more popular than our traditional ones.”

“The French do really know how to bake. It might the second best thing they do. After revolution.”

“Revolution?”

“And chopping people’s heads off.”

“What?”

“Did I never tell you about the guillotines?”

I wouldn’t have blamed him for asking me to stop (we’re eating, after all), but Luke listens to the whole history lesson with starry-eyed fascination, and it doesn’t stop him from sampling a mini madeleine and two financiers while he’s listening. Morbid history is much more Belphie’s thing, but Luke asks questions even he hadn’t thought of - like how long the heads stayed ‘awake’ for after they were cut off, which is possibly the most unsettling way he could have phrased it.

A year or so ago, I don’t think he could’ve gotten past de Launay’s head being on a pike. I don’t think I could’ve identified nearly as many of the cakes laid out in front of us, either. (Now that I think about it, it’s a shame there isn’t any angel cake.) Clearly we’ve had very different effects on each other.

Once I’ve exhausted about as much of the history lesson as I can recall, it’s Luke’s turn to tell me about the time a seraph, pursued by some heavenly equivalent of a polar bear, crossed the entire Celestial Realm thrice over in a trial of justice and courage. Though the point seems to be more about the spectacle - and it sounds more like the seraph Uriel just did it for fun. A trial of courage probably doesn’t involve pole-vaulting over a perfectly level field.

Somehow, no matter how long we talk, the sweets never get sickly, for all there are so many of them. I really must have learnt something from Barbatos; something about the occasional sip of tea stops the cakes from getting too cloyingly sweet. Still, eventually we’ve both had enough for the day.

I can’t say I’m not worried about all the sugar - but somehow I don’t feel the buzz as we keep talking, either. Maybe it’s cancelling out, somehow. It’s easy to keep up the energy with such good company.

Luke excuses himself to go ask for something, and it’s only once the room is silent that I realise how much time we’ve whiled away. I decide to shoot Lucifer a message - because he likes to fret about timings, even if he denies it - just to let him know that we’re still doing fine.

As soon as I press send, there’s a muffled musical note from somewhere suspiciously close by. I pause, then turn around. There’s a large potted plant blocking the window from the direct view of the table.

I narrow my eyes. Then I get up, round the table, side-step aside the potted plant, look out through the window - and make direct eye contact with Simeon.

He, at least, has the grace to look embarrassed. Lucifer, standing plainly beside him, does not; he just raises an eyebrow at me and jerks his head, as if to say ‘continue’.

I don’t know whether or not to be annoyed at him. Actually, I still don’t know why he made such a performance of getting me here in the first place. ‘Do you want to go to a sweets parlour with Luke?’ would have been a perfectly fine way to set it up. Did he think the fancy hotel would intimidate me too much?

Luke isn’t back yet. I unfasten the latch and open the window, half-expecting them both to disappear, then hiss, “I thought you were busy.”

Simeon smiles sheepishly. “I wanted to make sure things were going well.”

“Have you been here the whole time?”

“Oh, no, just for a few minutes. There’s a little cafe just out front. We were having coffee…”

“And spying on us.”

He winces a little. “That’s a strong word.”

I turn to Lucifer, who still doesn’t look as if he thinks he’s done anything wrong. “Why wouldn’t you tell me what was going on?”

“I thought it might spoil the surprise,” He says lightly. “Well? Are you having fun? Is Luke behaving himself?”

Simeon shoots him a look. “Of course he is."

“I’m afraid I wasn’t asking you.”

“We’re having fun,” I interject, exasperated. “Lucifer, behave.”

He quirks a brow and folds his arms. “That’s an odd way to speak to the demon who’s paying for this.”

“Don’t listen to him, IK,” Simeon says. “We agreed to split the bill.”

“If you’re so quick to make corrections, perhaps you should pay for the whole—”

“Okay, that’s enough,” I announce. “Go do something fun, alright? I’ll save you some cake.”

I shut the window (Simeon waves a little meekly), then draw both the blinds and the thick velvety curtains for good measure. To be honest, without magic, there’s very little I could do about them eavesdropping if they really wanted to, but it’s better for all of us if they just listen.

I’d better light some more of these candles, too. It’s kind of dark in here now.

Luke returns just as I’m done doing that. He shuts the door behind him, then pauses. “...what’s this?”

“There, uh… there were a lot of people walking by the window.” He might start panicking if I told him the truth. Or, worse, get mad, and storm off to chew Simeon out. “It was kind of dark, so…”

“Oh! Right.” He coughs and comes further into the room. He seems a little flushed. “Ahem, anyway, I asked, and all the cakes come with the package, so we can take the ones we don’t finish home. I got some bags from the front desk - they’re really cute.

“Alright… are we leaving?”

“Well, we don’t have to. The lady at the desk said the room wasn’t booked for the rest of the afternoon. I was just thinking…”

“I could put on a bit more tea,” I suggest. “Barbatos says the neptune-blue is good for talking after sweets. If you’re not sick of me, I mean.”

He beams. “Come on, I could never get sick of you. Yeah, let’s stay a little longer!”

[moeblob]

Ananza realizing that Deacon's mom was a devoted follower of hers THEREFORE that's her son now, too! And she will dote on him and love him and never pick on him like all the other deities tend to do. That's her precious little boy who lives in another city and rarely gets to see her!

[crescentfool]

a new stream doodle from today + a few stream doodles from 2022 i never posted here! also there's my ryoji brush if you want it... link in the replies 😳

[sycamorality]

can you draw this guy as a scug? thanks

if you were commissioning me, yes, but you aren't, so no! so here's a biblically accurate survivor instead.

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

If the landlord doesn’t want me fishing around in their shower vent and cold air returns, then they shouldn’t make them stink like rotting garbage. You painted over the screws so they’re hard to open? Cool. I’ll drill holes into them and get them out with a power tool because the town next to me is having a citywide garage sale and I’m sure there’s some Ryobi in there at a decent price. Your vents are coming off motherfucker, and if I find anything I swear to fucking god I am going to have both your vents and your bank account cleaned out.

[eluxcastar]

While I'm here I suppose I'll mention I crossposted more stuff on ao3 enjoy

[sportsthoughts]

600 goal gifs incoming??

i have posted some! and there are lots of other great ones in the sidney crosby tag

[rolandkaros]

thank u for the positive feedback it is much appreciated <3

askbox is officially open for gif requests !!

more than happy to do basically any player under the sun (with logical exceptions). feel free to send in a specific match/tournament/moment etc. if you have a preference otherwise i will pick and choose at my discretion. you can send more than one player in if you'd like, just specify if you'd like gifs of them separately or together :)

[anonymusbosch]

.

[ttngummybear]

The next time I go to try and ask for tech support from the revanced team, someone PLEASE just slap me so I don't do it.